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12 July 2007 @ 10:10 am
[fic] Fijación Oral  
TITLE: Fijación Oral
AUTHOR: Janni
SUMMARY: When good condiments go bad, it can only be very, very good.
WORD COUNT: 247
A/N: For m31andy , who totally asked for it. >3


Mayonnaise was very tired of being lonely. And overworked. These days, so many sandwiches were coming by that it was very hard not to feel as though one were spread far too thin.

When Vinegar showed up, they were instantly attracted to one another. They knew it was wrong; Vinegar had, after all, certain commitments with Olive Oil to maintain. Sure, they hated each other's guts, but the sparks they set off when they got together were nothing short of legendary, and resulted in the sort of oral fixation that can't be
denied. Plus, Olive Oil was totally into inviting others to the party---sometimes Raspberry would join the fun, sometimes Basil, sometimes Chives, sometimes even those very naughty chillies. Vinegar
couldn't complain about variety, that was for sure.

But something about Mayonnaise was completely irresistible. Maybe it was all that soothing creaminess, that willingness to be spread wherever one wanted, as thin or as thick as one chose. That
pliability. That flexibility. That mouthfeel. Mmmm.

One day, Vinegar just couldn't take it any longer, and Mayonnaise felt the power of Vinegar in full. And certainly wasn't complaining. They churned, and mingled, and blurped, and bubbled, and eventually the two did indeed become one.

With their powers combined, Salad Cream was born---simultaneously slightly naughty but comforting in one's mouth. A bit like a really good kiss ending in a slight nip of one's lower lip, resulting in slight puffiness and bruising and possible bloodletting.

Only distinctly creamier.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
violent_rabbitviolent_rabbit on July 12th, 2007 03:52 pm (UTC)
XD I adore this. XD
Robin Ftamago23 on July 12th, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
LOL, that rocked. :D
cupidsbowcupidsbow on July 12th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Yay for condiment porn! Thank you.
Kettle: Conjugated double bondschattycheese on July 12th, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
Salad Cream! OMG! My favorite!

That is absolutely fantastic.
Lozlozenger8 on July 17th, 2007 01:59 pm (UTC)
THIS IS ABSOLUTE WIN AND I ♥ YOU FOR LINKING ME, REALLY! WIN, JANNI, PURE UNMITIGATED WIN!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )